Turtles All the Way Down

​On August 2nd, I officiated Sihua and Sasan’s wedding ceremony at The Shangri La Hotel in Xiamen, China. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Today is a celebration not only of love — but of journey, return, and becoming. There are many twists and turns in their story, but as the phrase from Hindu mythology about the idea of infinite regress puts it, the origin of the story is turtles all the way down.

What do I mean by that? Sasan says: “I had been in China for around 9 months. My friend, Ankur Patel, was visiting me. One day Ankur said, ‘Look, I bought these turtles for one dollar each!’ At first, I thought to myself, wow, so cheap, but shortly after it hit me that we needed to take care of these two little things. 

I told Ankur we needed to buy them a fish tank, so we went to the huge bazaar in the middle of Beijing. This place sold anything anyone needed. I was in the curtain section and Ankur was with the fish tanks. He called me and asked me to come over to help him translate something, and there she was, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, Sihua! 

My heart skipped a beat or two, but I mustered up the courage to talk to her with the little broken Chinese that I knew. I managed to ask her for her number, and for the following year we texted back and forth in Mandarin. One of the reasons I’m able to read and write Mandarin today is because I looked forward to reading and replying to her messages.”

Sihua says, “The first time I saw him, I was immediately attracted by his gentlemanly demeanor. He was gentle, tall, and handsome. That night, he sent me a message asking, ‘How are your fish?’ This simple question touched me deeply. I could sense that he was a caring and kind person, and from that moment on, he had a special place in my heart.”

From that moment, they were inseparable, and as they say in Western fairy tales, they lived happily ever after. (Pause.) 

No, that’s not what actually happened. They did date for a short while, but Sasan moved to Hong Kong, and as is the case with many fresh relationships, long distance didn’t really work. They broke up, but they still maintained their friendship. Years passed, COVID came along, and Sasan was stuck in Los Angeles for a year, until China finally opened back up at the end of 2020. 

He picks up the story from there: “I took the first available flight back to Xiamen. Little did I know Sihua’s flight back to China after finishing her master’s program would be canceled. She would have to fly to Xiamen to quarantine just a few weeks after I got back. She got in touch; I lived in Xiamen, and she needed a quarantine hotel. As soon as she was finished, we met up.

It was then that I confessed my love for her. I told her that for the past 12 years I had loved her so much, and I wanted to be with her. To my surprise she told me she felt the same way.” From that moment, they were inseparable, and, yes, as they say in Western fairy tales, they lived happily ever after. This time, for real.

When we look at Sihua and Sasan, we don’t just see a couple who fell in love; we see what happens when love endures. Years passed. Countries changed. Careers shifted. A once in a century global pandemic came and went. But something inside Sihua and Sasan stayed steady. After more than a decade, after years apart, when the moment was right, they didn’t hesitate. They both said: I still love you. I always have.

Sihua and Sasan chose each other across time, distance, cultures, languages, and faiths. That kind of love isn’t just romantic; it’s rare. It’s rooted in memory, resilience, and an open heart. Today, therefore, we don’t just witness a wedding; we celebrate a union that reminds us how strong true love can be. 

Sihua and Sasan, thank you for teaching us that real love doesn’t always follow a straight line. Thank you for showing us what it means to return to what matters, to build something sacred, and to love wholeheartedly.