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Inspiring lessons that I have learned from couples, whose interfaith weddings I officiated.

BY RABBI DAVID S. GRUBER

Caring Nature

5/3/2025

 
​On Saturday, May 3, 2025, I officiated Alyssa and Steven’s wedding ceremony at the Westin Dallas Downtown in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Alyssa and Steven’s story goes back years to when they met at the University of Kansas. (Go Jayhawks!) In fact, they were really just good friends for a while before their relationship took a romantic turn.

There is, however, one more recent story, emblematic of their entire relationship that shows that this relationship is special and that they have it made. In fact, this story is reminiscent of a story told about Rabbi Aryeh Levin, nicknamed Hatzadik Hayerushalmi, the Righteous Man of Jerusalem. 

One day Rabbi Aryeh and his wife showed up at the doctor’s office, and the doctor asked what was wrong. The rabbi replied, and this works much better in Hebrew, “We feel pain in my wife’s leg.” Note the exact phrasing; not “My wife feels pain in her leg.” WE feel pain. Rabbi Aryeh’s love for his wife was so great that he felt pain when she felt pain.

No one should have been surprised to hear this from Rabbi Aryeh because this was his general approach to humanity, in general. He was a selfless and caring man. It was no wonder that his approach to his wife would be such.
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Steven says of Alyssa that she fits that bill: “I don’t think there is anyone that is more selfless and caring than Alyssa. Even when it makes no sense to me, she will put anyone else first, always lending a hand or making sure other people are taken care of. This is such an important trait for a person to have, and she embodies it to a T.”

And Alyssa tells the story I teased earlier: “One night recently, I cut my finger on a knife pretty bad when I was doing the dishes. He jumped to action to help wrap it up and stop the bleeding. He dropped everything. That night laying in bed, he started crying after I told him how bad my finger hurts. When I asked why he was crying, he told me “Because he I hate not being able to make it better for you. I don’t want you in pain.”

Alyssa and Steven, thank you for this important lesson about true love. May your caring nature for each other and others continue to manifest itself throughout your marriage.

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    Author

    Rabbi David S. Gruber is an eighth-generation rabbi and Jewish secular humanist who has officiated 600+ interfaith and non-traditional weddings worldwide.

    ​Based in Greater Portland, Oregon, Rabbi Gruber crafts inclusive, personalized ceremonies that honor each couple’s unique story.

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RABBI dAVID s. gRUBER

Interfaith Wedding Rabbi - Interfaith, Jewish and Non-Traditional Weddings
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