Build Something Beautiful Together

On July 24th, I officiated Arie and Blake's wedding ceremony at The Mayo in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

When I think about Arie and Blake, one lesson rises above everything else. Love is not something you simply stumble into. Love is something you intentionally build.

Both of them grew up with Judaism as an important part of their identity, but what strikes me is that neither of them inherited their Jewish lives passively. Arie's family made extraordinary sacrifices to ensure she would be raised Jewish. Blake discovered, especially through Jewish camp, that being Jewish was "more than a simple fact." It became part of who he was. Both of them came to understand that faith is not just about rituals. It is about community, family, identity, and the values we choose to carry into our lives.

And then life did something remarkable.

They met through a dating app, but in truth, their story had begun years before either of them realized it. Blake had attended Arie's Bat Mitzvah. They had grown up in the same Jewish community, crossing paths without ever imagining that one day they would stand beneath a chuppah together. Sometimes life reminds us that what feels like coincidence is simply timing catching up with destiny.

But that's not what I admire most about them.

What I admire most is their honesty.

They don't pretend that great relationships happen effortlessly. They know better. There was a season when they stepped away from one another because they were simply in different places in life. Many couples never recover from moments like that. They did, because instead of trying to change each other, each of them chose to grow. When they found one another again, they weren't simply picking up where they had left off. They were building something stronger than before.

That takes courage.

One of the principles that now defines their relationship is something they call "radical honesty." They discovered that even little white lies, the kind we sometimes tell to avoid conflict or spare someone's feelings, slowly create distance. Honest conversations, even the uncomfortable ones, create trust. That is a lesson worth remembering, not only in marriage, but in every meaningful relationship we have.

I also love the way they describe everyday life together.

For them, love isn't measured by grand romantic gestures. It's found in ordinary moments. It's spending time with their dogs. It's sharing routines. It's facing career changes, health challenges, and life's unexpected turns as partners instead of opponents. Arie says she has never doubted she could get through difficult times because she knew Blake would be beside her. Blake says that Arie is the person who makes life make sense, and he cannot imagine a life that doesn't include her.

I think there is tremendous wisdom in that.

We often spend so much time looking for fireworks that we overlook something even more valuable: peace. The person who makes life feel steadier. The person who makes ordinary Tuesday afternoons feel just as meaningful as extraordinary celebrations. The person who becomes your safest place in the world.

Perhaps my favorite thought from their story is this: they both acknowledge that no relationship is perfect. They simply know they have found the right partner, someone willing to grow, to communicate, to laugh, to forgive, and to keep choosing the relationship every single day.

And maybe that's what all of us can learn from Arie and Blake.

A successful marriage isn't built because two perfect people find each other. It's built because two imperfect people decide that what they have together is worth the effort. They choose honesty over assumptions, growth over comfort, and partnership over pride.

Arie and Blake, thank you for reminding all of us that the strongest marriages are not the ones that never face challenges. They are the ones where two people continue, day after day, to build something beautiful together. May that spirit of honesty, friendship, and intentional love continue to guide you for all the years ahead.